Wow, November is now half over!!
So I guess it’s time to announce to you all the next change that is happening with the Nakata family. A few weeks ago now, my husband came home from work with a shell shocked look on his face. After we’d put the kids to bed he told me what had happened. Due to the economic impact of Covid, the project he was working on - the reason we were able to come to Sweden - had been cancelled by the customer. That meant that there was no more work for him here in Sweden and unless something else crazy happened very quickly, we would be going back to Japan and probably soon.
As far as bad news goes, this wasn’t that terrible. Everybody is still alive and healthy. But boy did that piece of news rock my world. We had been back in Sweden only for a few months after we had been sent to Japan during the height of the Covid crisis for our “safety”. We had just made it back, we’d just settled into a really nice new home. The kids had been back at school for a few weeks. Finally I had peace in my life. I had time to myself again. I was enjoying spending time with my friends that I’d missed so much during our time away. I’d just had a really nice session with my coach just the day before. We’d talked and I’d made some plans. Then it was like those plans had just exploded in my face.
When you get news like that, it feels like you have been shunted by a train or something. Or you’ve walked smack into a brick wall you didn’t know was there. This kind of news happens sometime right? We’ve all had those times when we have been caught completely unaware. It’s those unpredictable things that knock you off your feet. I remember when I very first heard about us potentially moving to Sweden back in 2019! It felt like I was on a boat and the floor kept moving under my feet for at least a week. I couldn’t focus on what I was supposed to be doing, I was completely distracted by this new potential. That potential move to Sweden is something that actually ended up happening.
After I heard the news, I actually went and shut myself in my room and had a cry. I cried for “losing” the lifestyle I have been enjoying so much. I was livid that this was happening again. That we didn’t seem to be able to catch a break. Just because you appreciate something, doesn’t mean that you get to keep it. It can still be taken away.
We got here and then we loved it. I’ve got a photo of my kids looking absolutely terrified on their first day of their new school. It is hilarious to see the difference now as they are more than happy to go each day. In fact my daughter wishes there were no weekends. That is how much she loves her school, her teacher and her friends. She tells me that school is interesting! She is teaching me things I’ve forgotten about different kinds of government. She’s 9. My heart breaks to think about her having to leave this school when it’s obviously a great place for her.
Then there is the fact that we are going back to our old life. Of course we have our house to go back to. The one I was so sad to say goodbye to just a year ago. I remember that I was telling a friend about how the timing was crazy given that I finally really enjoying my life in Japan after many years of not really loving it.
However, I wonder what it will be like to go back to our old life given that we are not the same people we once were. Will our old life fit us? Or will it be like a glove that fitted until you took it off and now it doesn’t fit so well anymore? Obviously we’ve been stretched and pulled into a new shape by being in Sweden for a year.
I’m always looking for ways to learn from experiences like this. If you have been listening to this podcast for a while you may remember that there have been a lot of ups and downs this year. This is also not my first international posting that has been cut short, nor my first experience of having my daily life severely interrupted by unforeseen circumstances like a nuclear disaster and now a global pandemic.
One of my long term listeners Julie from Enlighten Me, gave me a lovely reminder:
It's not happening to you, it's happening for you.
Kristen who from Drawing Meditations also said:
We will crown you the Queen of Resilience.
Thank you so much to everyone who gave me some lovely words of wisdom and support.
In my podcast you can hear me speaking about the online workshop (held in Japanese) I will be holding on December 8th, 2020 at 20:00 JST. Here is the link for the event.
Links:
Listen here: https://apple.co/2D2NETA